More than 10 years ago, I was challenged by a Native American friend as to why I celebrated Thanksgiving, when she knew I didn't buy into the American Thanksgiving mythology. It was very hurtful to her that even with knowledge I still observed the day. I knew her through a forum where we mainly discussed (among other things): race, gender politics, cultural appropiration, etc. Really, women much more brilliant than I discussed these things while I listened, learned and sometimes contributed. I tried to tell myself (and her) that it was about being thankful, being with my family, all the reasons you normally hear. I wasn't able to formulate a real justification. Eventually the forum trickled out and we lost touch.
For the several years that followed though, the idea of Thanksgiving bothered me at the back of my brain. How could I successfully separate the Thanksgiving I chose to celebrate from the truth that our country's relationship with its native people was nothing less than genocide? And that federal and state mistreatment of these marginalized people continues to this day? I sat with these ideas but didn't make any actual changes to my end of November participation.
Fast forward to when Jack and Lucy were about 5 and 3. I couldn't decide what I was going to tell them about what we were celebrating on Thanksgiving. Would I just whitewash over the predominate mythology and tell them we were celebrating all the things we were grateful for? Would I give them a slightly more accurate view of the Thanksgiving story? I sure wasn't going to explain the actualities to them, not at 5 and 3! Around this time I received my copy of UU World and on the cover it had an article header referencing how to celebrate Thanksgiving ethically. I was so excited because I thought it would address my concerns, instead it was about buying organic food for the Thanksgiving table!
John and I discussed not observing Thanksgiving for several months before we stopped. In our family we already emphasied gratitude on a regular basis. We spend the whole month of November remembering and celebrating beloved ancestors and deceased friends. We usually host or particpate in some type of "harvest" even in September or October. We couldn't find a real and powerful reason why we needed to sit around a table on the 4th Thursday in November and stuff ourselves with food.
So we stopped. And people don't like it. Some get mad and think we are judging them with our decision. Nope. Some think we can ignore the origins and still collective meaning of the day and redefine it with our own intentions. I came across a great quote the other night that I think addresses this approach:
"Sentimentality is the emotion we feel when we scoop off a part of the truth, that part which we are willing to accept, and slather it like syrup to cover what we do not want to see. Usually what we don't want to see is our own responsibility to the remaining truth. A half-truth is a very dangerous thing because it is a lie."
- Gertrude Mueller Nelson in "To Dance With God"
Here are links to two excellent articles that discuss much more lucidly than I why we should drop Thanksgiving:
No Thanks to Thanksgiving
Why We Shouldn't Celebrate Thankgiving
And as normally holds with anything I discuss here, no judgement towards you, sweet reader. I still totally love you, even if we don't agree on this topic.
