About two years ago I read a blog post of children's chores on one of those mamas with many children blogs (wish I could remember which one, it was a great post). Those moms of many often seem to have some mad mothering skills and I find I can learn a lot from their experiences. Anyway, the premise of this blog post was that if your child were gone for several days and there weren't quite a few jobs around the house that wouldn't get done because of their absence then they didn't have enough responsibility around the house. This struck a chord with me. Children need real work in order to contribute in a real way to the work of family and also, frankly, so they grow up and know how to do these things!
At the time I read this post, Jack and Lu had little chores they were responsible for, but they had been the same for some time and the level of responsibility I expected out of them hadn't grown as they grew. Basically the dishwasher being emptied was the only thing that wouldn't get done. Since then I've slowly added on new tasks for them.
(Check out the look on Lu's face. As in, "Really? Not only do I have to DO chores but now you're going to take pictures of me doing them?")
We went through a period where it seemed like they were always asking me for money, so I also added, in addition to their required chores, a list of jobs that could be done for a little bit of money. The rule about this list is that I won't nag you to do or complete them. The job has to be completely done out out of your own initiative and then I do a final inspection. The most money that can be earned per child per week is $5. At first there was a flurry of job for money doing, now I think it has been at least a month since one was done. I still consider this a win though, because now I don't get pestered for money. A few times they have tried, but I simply ask why they haven't done any pay chores to earn the money and the pestering stops.
Currently on a daily basis the have to: empty their part of the dishwasher, set the table, empty plates from the table, make their beds, keep their room tidy, generally pick up after themselves and do an end of day tidy, feed the cats and gather eggs. New for this year, they both do their own laundry from start to back clean in the drawers. Jack cooks at least one breakfast a week and usually one dinner (including planning the meal and making a list of what he needs). I need to get Lucy up to speed on the cooking thing. By the time Jack was 7 he could make several things on his own, and Lucy isn't quite there yet. I think it helped that he was physically so much bigger than her when he was 7. They also do many random things I assign them during the day, but this is greeted with more resistance because they aren't in the habit of doing the job. As I look at the daily list, I realize I need to add a few more every day things to become habit.
Now, they don't always (or often?) perform these tasks cheerfully. This bothers me because I have a vision in my head of pleasant little helpers pitching in until the work is done. I think I maybe should drop this fantasy along with the notion that they will learn to always get along. Because I have noticed something: they can and often do help people NOT me in a joyful, enthusiastic manner. They will go upstairs and help grandma clean house the second she asks. The same at friends' homes, their great-grandma's, church, etc. Because I think this type of chore work is important both because of the work itself AND cultivating a helpful nature I make sure they have plenty of opportunity to do work in these other areas as well.
Head on over the wonderful Frontier Dreams to read other Tuesday Rhythm in the Home posts.
