I went to my cousin's memorial on Saturday night, she died unexpectedly about a month ago. The service was really moving - her sister made a lovely tribute to her, her father (my uncle) wrote and shared a beautiful poem and her niece sang "In the Arms of an Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin. The song could have been written about my cousin. Her niece wasn't able to make it all the way through the song and the most beautiful part of the evening occurred when most of the people in the room picked up the song when she was not able.
I am so sad to say that, although I lived in the same town as my cousin for the first time in 20 years, I hadn't seen her in over a year. She was about ten years older than me and was always one of my "cool" cousins. I couldn't be around her without laughing hysterically about something. We shared a very similar, sarcastic sense of humor.
As I sat at the memorial, I looked around the room taking stock of the people I hadn't seen in a while. It is slightly macabre, but I did wonder how I would feel if one of them died and once again I hadn't connected with them in ages. Were they all my "immediate" family? Or even first cousins? No, not necessarily. But they are people with whom I share a bond of family. What can I do in the coming year to nurture that bond? In times like these I am constantly reminding myself that all we really have is each other.
I can't instantly mend every fractured relationship in my life, or somehow carve out time to dedicated to every person I miss, but I can be more deliberate in reaching out. So, who haven't you spoken to in a while - out of "busy"ness, or even anger? Give them a call, write a letter, email them. Please share any ideas with me about how you manage this in your life.
